Love on the Ledge
by masscoffee
Summary: L/L short fic. Lorelai rejected Kirk as a potential date. So what does he do? He decides to get her attention by attempting to jump off the side of the Inn. It's up to Luke to talk him out of it!


Title: Love on the Ledge  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Author: MassCoffee  
  
Pairing: L/L! NOT KIRK! Arrrrgh just the thought of him makes me cringe. The same feeling I get when I walk past the shop where my ex works.  
  
Spoilers: Haunted Leg, Season three.  
  
Summary: Lorelai rejected Kirk as a potential date. So what does he do? He decides to get her attention by attempting to jump off the side of the Inn. It's up to Luke to talk him out of it!  
  
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and characters are owned by WB and its creators Daniel Palladino and Amy Sherman-Palladino. Not me.  
  
**********************************************  
  
If anyone could make it look like hard work to climb stairs, it was Lorelai. As she sluggishly made her way up to the top floor of the Inn, an older couple overtook her and gave her strange disapproving looks.  
  
Lorelai paused to whimper like a baby. She was feeling very sorry for herself. It was all Michel's fault. He was the one to tell that silly old woman that the manager was in.  
  
Stupid woman in 114. That lady had already ruined all their white towels by using them to clean her muddy hiking boots.  
  
Lorelai knocked on the door and put on a nice fake smile. She hoped she didn't have any of Luke's pancakes caught between her teeth. An old, but sturdy looking woman opened the door.  
  
"Ah you must be the manager." She gave Lorelai a nod and stood aside to let her enter. Lorelai mentally scowled when she saw the mud that had been walked into the carpet.  
  
"Lorelai Gilmore, nice to meet you Mrs Durnhurst." She said. The smile was beginning to look strained, but the lady didn't seem to notice.  
  
"I'm glad you came. Would you like a cup of tea? You look very flushed dear."  
  
"Oh no thanks. I just er-went for a little jog at lunch."  
  
"Pumps aren't the ideal things to wear jogging dear."  
  
"I just changed out of my joggers. They were very dirty. Say, have you ever tried removing mud from porous material before? Very tricky business that."  
  
"Oh I'm sure if anyone can do it, you can Mrs Gilmore."  
  
"So, to what do I owe this summons? Not that I don't mind conversing with all my guests on a personal level."  
  
"A very socially healthy undertaking. Especially for a girl of your age."  
  
"Yes. I thought so."  
  
"You see there is a very nice man standing outside my window. And well-I was wondering if you might be able to remove him?"  
  
Lorelai walked over to the window and looked down. There was no one there.  
  
"Not that I mind his company of course." Mrs Durnhurst continued. "It's just that I'm concerned he might fall."  
  
Lorelai looked further along the side of the building.  
  
"Oh my God! Kirk?" She nearly fell out of the window herself.  
  
"He said that you knew him." Mrs Durnhurst said from within the room. Stunned, Lorelai stood back from the window.  
  
"How did he get out there?" She asked the lady. "Did he come through your room."  
  
"Certainly not! He said he climbed the lattice near the garden."  
  
"We'll sort it out Mrs Durnhurst. In the meantime why don't you go down and check with Michel and see if we can find you a new room."  
  
"Oh I don't mind dear. I'll stay here with you if that's all the same. He's a very nice man and its not often that an old lady gets to talk to people of the younger generation."  
  
"Oh yeah. Sure." Lorelai leaned on the sill and popped her head back out of the window. "Hi Kirk. Um, how are you doing?"  
  
"Good morning. It's a little nippy out here, but Mrs Durnhurst said it should warm up soon."  
  
"Oh, that's good. So um, watcha doing?"  
  
"I'm making a passionate statement about how I feel about you Lorelai."  
  
"Oh, well, it looks like you're doing a very good job."  
  
"Mrs Durnhurst thought so too."  
  
"So, I guess coming back inside would be out of the question?" She said hopefully.  
  
"It would ruin the artistic effect."  
  
"I see. Well, um, would it ruin the artistic effect if I call some friends? They all happen to be in the police force downtown but don't let that bother you."  
  
"Not at all. You might want to call the local newspaper as well, just to add some excitement. It gets quite boring standing up on a ledge."  
  
"Oh, I'll certainly give that some thought. Er-you're not going to do anything drastic for now are you?"  
  
"No. In fact I think I'll still be around by lunch time. Do you think you could get Sookie to make up a couple of sandwiches?"  
  
"Sure. Just don't go anywhere. Okay?"  
  
"And some of that meringue pie?"  
  
"I'll see what we can do." Lorelai hurried over to Mrs Durnhurst's phone and called the police.  
  
**********************************************  
  
"Hello?" Luke picked up the phone with one hand while balancing a plate with food scraps in the other.  
  
"Don't hang up!"  
  
"Goodbye Lorelai." He hung up and emptied the scraps into the bin. The phone rang again.  
  
"Hello?" He said impatiently.  
  
"Rory's sick!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Ok I lied. But it's an emergency worthy of a similar outburst!"  
  
"If you've got another damn super intelligent chick loose in the house again, I don't want to hear about it!"  
  
"It's not a chick! It's Kirk."  
  
"Kirk? What's Kirk doing loose in your house?"  
  
"He's not in my house. He's standing on the ledge of the top floor of the Inn with the intention of ending his life!"  
  
"Tell me another one Lorelai."  
  
"I'm not kidding! Henry says he's highly unstable."  
  
"Henry? Who's Henry?"  
  
"Look I need you to come over here now!"  
  
"Why me? You're not jumping."  
  
"The policemen said to get someone he can relate to!"  
  
"That's an insult! You know I'm not your guy. Ring Sylvester Stallone. He's good at these things."  
  
"Sylvester Stallone ends up dropping the girl off the cliff Luke! Sheesh! I know you're not Kirk's bestest buddy but you said he once asked you about me."  
  
"So?"  
  
"So get down here and tell him I'm not worth it!"  
  
"Wait. He's jumping because of you?"  
  
"Yeah. Laugh it up chump!"  
  
And Luke did. Lorelai could still hear him laughing long after she hung up on him.  
  
**********************************************  
  
"So." Luke said as he joined Lorelai and 'Henry' on the top floor of the Inn. "Is it true what Lorelai told me over the phone?"  
  
"We have reason to believe that a recent personal rejection on Ms Gilmore's part has pushed him over the edge."  
  
"No it hasn't! He's still up there! I saw him!" Lorelai panicked.  
  
"What the hell did you say to him Lorelai?" Luke fired at her.  
  
"I was very direct with him. I swear! It was something in the vicinity of 'no thanks Kirk, followed by a series of 'no no no no no'."  
  
"Direct? You? That's not the Lorelai I know."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean? I'm a very blunt person. Sometimes to the point of rudeness. Just ask my mother! Or Michel!"  
  
"Let's go, shall we?" Henry led them into the room. The strange Mrs Durnhurst had been forced to leave a long time ago.  
  
Luke let out a chuckle.  
  
"You won't be laughing so hard if he jumps." Lorelai said crankily.  
  
"If he does jump, which I seriously doubt, the worst that can happen is that he'll break his leg."  
  
"Or become paralyzed, or crack his head open."  
  
"Maybe a duck will break his fall."  
  
"Would you please take this seriously?" Lorelai nudged him in the ribs.  
  
"Fine! How come no one thought to summon a psychiatrist?"  
  
"You're looking at one." Henry replied. "He won't talk to me about it."  
  
"Oh. Well then. I guess I'd better try huh?" Luke sighed inwardly and leaned his head out of the window. He turned to see Kirk patiently nibbling at a dessert provided by Sookie.  
  
"Uh, hi Kirk." Luke said. "I see they're taking care of you."  
  
"Yes. I thought so. Though the chicken was a little dry. It needed some cheese or something."  
  
"So, Lorelai tells me that you're a little upset with her?" Luke swung his legs over and sat himself down on the window sill.  
  
"I don't know if anyone has told you, but I'm planning to jump in order to still the pain of a broken heart."  
  
"Well, uh, that's very noble of you."  
  
"It is."  
  
"You know, I'm not the least bit surprised that she would do something like that."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah. I mean she's Lorelai. She's just-uh-so inconsistent. Just look at her engagement with that Medina guy. Didn't last a-OW! Lorelai stop pinching me!" He glared at her. Lorelai glared back.  
  
"Is Lorelai there?" Kirk asked.  
  
"Yeah." Luke rubbed his arm. "The little charmer herself."  
  
"Well ask her to join us by all means. Oh wait. Let me get back into my position first."  
  
Kirk handed Luke his dessert and stood up straight. "Ok now."  
  
"Lorelai. Kirk wants you to join us."  
  
Lorelai waited for Henry's approval before leaning out of the sill and smiling sweetly at Kirk.  
  
"Please. Sit down." Kirk said politely, gesturing at how Luke was seated. Lorelai gave Luke a dark look before climbing over the sill. Luke held onto her waist until she settled herself.  
  
The three of them took a moment to stare down at the garden where the Inn's guests and the media were centered. The police were inflating some kind of square shaped balloon. Feeling a little nervous, Lorelai reached over and gripped Luke's arm.  
  
"Wow, it's high up here." She said.  
  
"Yes, I thought the height quite accurately demonstrated my feelings for you."  
  
Luke's shoulders began to shake.  
  
"Nobody likes a sick mind mister." Lorelai scolded Luke. "It's very thoughtful Kirk."  
  
"Well you have to understand, it's quite hard to find a tall building in Stars Hollow."  
  
"Yes." Luke's mouth quivered. "It would have been."  
  
Lorelai nudged him and Luke snapped out of it.  
  
"But seriously Kirk. She's not worth it."  
  
"No. I'm not!" She nodded eagerly.  
  
"I mean sure she's attractive."  
  
"Wait. You think I'm attractive?"  
  
"And she always crosses the line between teasing and flirting. That can dive a guy nuts."  
  
"I do not!" She pouted.  
  
"But she also will not shut up!"  
  
"She's not talking now." Kirk said.  
  
"That's because she's on a break." Luke gave Lorelai a nasty grin.  
  
"Hey Luke? Want me to push you off the edge first? You can test it out for Kirk." She was finding this conversation very disturbing. Still, she was quite enjoying the sensation of having Luke's arm occasionally brushing against her thigh.  
  
"You two don't fool me for a second. If she's not worth it. How come you like her so much?" Kirk posed to Luke.  
  
"She is a major source of income for the diner." Luke swiftly replied, ignoring Lorelai's curious glance.  
  
"But I don't pay half the time." She said.  
  
"That's right, she doesn't." Kirk agreed. Luke didn't much like the position he'd gotten himself into.  
  
"Anyway, as I was saying, there are quite a few bad points about her too."  
  
"Like what?" Lorelai folded her arms expectantly.  
  
"Like, um, she always has coffee breath."  
  
"I can buy her tic-tacs." Kirk supplied.  
  
"She can't cook."  
  
"My mother can. I'm sure Lorelai would love her cooking. Wouldn't you Lorelai?"  
  
"Um, I'm more of outdoor junk-food kind of girl." She said uneasily.  
  
"Last year she entered an expired box of pop-tarts in the basket auction."  
  
"Really? Lorelai is that true?" Kirk asked.  
  
"And a cheese-stick!" Lorelai added.  
  
"Not even a single sandwich?"  
  
"Nope. Sorry."  
  
Kirk looked bitterly disappointed.  
  
"She has some other nasty surprises up her sleeve as well. She'll go buy clothes for you on your credit card that you don't want. Then she'll make you redecorate the walls with some kind of off-colored paint."  
  
"You're really on a roll now aren't you?" Lorelai grumbled.  
  
"Look. I won't deny that the prospect of having to buy Lorelai's basket every year would be hazardous to the relationship, but everyone has their faults." Kirk said.  
  
"That's very generous of you Kirk." Lorelai said dryly.  
  
"A man has to go the extra length and make sacrifices."  
  
"Yeah, yeah I totally agree with that concept." Luke said, wanting to laugh at Lorelai's face.  
  
"I just don't understand why she's not giving me a chance."  
  
"Oh Kirk, it's not you!" She pleaded.  
  
Luke gazed down at Lorelai's blue eyes.  
  
"She, um, she just has trouble letting go." He said gently.  
  
Lorelai opened her mouth, but then closed it again.  
  
"Letting go?" Kirk looked intrigued.  
  
"Let's just say that she comes with more than the legal amount of emotional baggage."  
  
"You mean she's-" Kirk tapped his forehead.  
  
"Hey! I may be crazy but I'm still here you know!"  
  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to be impolite." Kirk said genuinely. "You know what? I think I'll just jump anyway."  
  
"What? No Kirk." Luke hastily stood out on to the ledge. He was steadied by Lorelai's hand gripping his wrist.  
  
"Pull him back!" Henry hissed at Lorelai. Kirk leaned over to take a look below him.  
  
"I mean, it could hurt Lorelai's feelings if I don't."  
  
"No it won't!" Lorelai swiftly contradicted. "You know what would make me really happy Kirk? Seeing you out of this alive and in one piece! Come on! I'll get Sookie to bake you a whole pie if you forget about this."  
  
"Yeah, I'll give you free coffee at the diner. What do you say?" Luke added. He was slowly edging out towards Kirk.  
  
"Will you think any less of me if I don't jump?"  
  
"No!" Luke and Lorelai said together.  
  
"Come one Kirk." Luke grabbed him roughly by the shoulder. "Just walk with me over to the window."  
  
As Kirk and Luke made their way over, Lorelai was helped back inside by Henry. Luke made his way over to the other side of the frame so that Kirk could climb in first.  
  
Unfortunately, one of Kirk's flailing legs caught Luke off-guard and pumped him directly in the stomach.  
  
"Argh! Grab him!" Lorelai yelled as she and Henry bent over Kirk and swung their arms out for him to take.  
  
Luke couldn't reach out in time.  
  
"OH-Shiiiit!"  
  
Everyone watched breathlessly as he fell,  
  
**********************************************  
  
straight into the air-filled mattress.  
  
Not waiting to see if Kirk had gotten in all right, Lorelai fled down the stairs that she had previously climbed up so slowly. If only that old couple could see her now.  
  
When she reached the garden, the police were already helping a shaky but intact Luke off the mattress and onto the ground.  
  
Lorelai flung her arms around him. "You crazy psycho possessed moron!"  
  
"You make it sound like you cared."  
  
Lorelai was aware of him stroking her hair.  
  
"Wow. You're going to be on the news!" She said pulling away.  
  
"I think I need to lie down."  
  
"Come to the kitchen! I'll get Sookie to make up some coffee and tea for everyone."  
  
Sookie sent the excited guests, the police and the reporters to the dining room for a large afternoon snack. She then rejoined Luke and Lorelai in the kitchen.  
  
"The reporters all want interviews with Mr Hero here." Sookie announced. Luke merely groaned and rested his head between his hands.  
  
"Next time you have an emergency Lorelai, don't call me. I'm just going to hang up on you." He said.  
  
"Did you mean what you said?" Lorelai asked.  
  
"About what?"  
  
"All that stuff up there that you said to Kirk. Am I really as bad as you made out?"  
  
"I extended the truth-a little."  
  
"So I don't bother you as much as you said?"  
  
"Are you kidding? You drive me nuts! Look what you made me do today!"  
  
"What about 'all that emotional baggage' thing?"  
  
"Well, isn't it the truth?" He lifted his head from his hands and looked at her.  
  
Lorelai stared down at the bench.  
  
"Uh, I'm just gonna go see that everyone's um, happy. Happy people. I don't think we could handle another suicide today. Tee-hee." Sookie left awkwardly.  
  
"I'm just gonna go get some more coffee." Lorelai got to her feet. Luke silently watched her as she moved around the kitchen. Her lips were pursed up tightly and her movements were clumsy. Conclusion: she was annoyed with him. He smiled at how easy she was to read.  
  
"Why are you smiling at me? You're not planning to give me another heart attack before the day is out are you?"  
  
"No. Unless you're planning to jump, I think I'm done for the day."  
  
"Well as a matter of fact I do feel like jumping. You made me feel quite small up there."  
  
"Lorelai!"  
  
"Would you talk me out of it by telling me how wonderful I am?" She teased.  
  
"Yeah. Right before I beat you senseless with one of Sookie's cooking utensils."  
  
Lorelai smiled and took a sip of her mug.  
  
"Poor Kirk. I know how lonely things get. You begin to wonder if anyone loves you at all." She said wistfully. Luke got up and made his way over to her. Lorelai leaned in and let him hold her.  
  
He silently cursed Christopher.  
  
"Rory would be up there with you in a second." He said. "So would Sookie, Jackson, your parents, Babette, Morey, Patti-"  
  
"That'd be one crowded ledge." Lorelai sniffed.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"So what you said up there. They were all lies?"  
  
"What is with you?" Luke stood back and gently shook her by the shoulders. "You've never let my comments get to you before."  
  
"I know. I just felt like sending you on a guilt trip. No-they just rang so true, I got scared I guess." She reached out and traced her thumb along his jawline.  
  
She looked so out of sorts. The day had certainly taken it out of her. That cold she'd had the week before hadn't helped things either.  
  
And yet he was still dying to reach out for her.  
  
Lorelai's eyes widened when she saw the purpose written on his face. Until that very moment, she hadn't known that he'd cared about her so much. But now that she was aware, she could see evidence of it in every move he made. The way his mouth curved against her touch. They way his hands felt when he stepped forward and ran them against her hips.  
  
Lorelai reached up to his shoulders and pulled him over to her. For a moment, they glanced at each other's faces, trying to see what the other was thinking. Finally, Lorelai leaned forward and pressed her lips to the corner of his mouth.  
  
Inhaling sharply, Luke pushed back and easily parted her lips with his tongue. Lorelai moaned as he ran a hand from the small of her back to her nape and held it there. They explored each other's mouths for what seemed like ages, until breathlessly, they broke apart.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?" She whispered into his ear. Without saying anything, Luke wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him.  
  
He heard Lorelai sob.  
  
"Uh, gees, Lorelai, I'm sorry. Here, sit down." He sat her down on the stool and wiped at her face. "I'm so sorry. I just-and you were tired-I wasn't thinking."  
  
"No its not that. I just feel so stupid. You know. Like a cross between Daffy Duck and that hunter who sings 'Kill the Wabbit!'."  
  
"Lorelai-"  
  
"I mean, there you were, right in front of me and I didn't even see. And then today you could have died and I would never have found out."  
  
"Huh? Stop babbling."  
  
"Luke, how long have you felt this way? I just need to know for the record exactly how stupid I am."  
  
"For the record, pretty stupid."  
  
Lorelai bit her lower lip as she stared at him. He didn't seem too upset with her. In fact he looked rather confused. Happy. But confused.  
  
"I need sleep." She finally said.  
  
"I'll take you home." He got up off the chair.  
  
"Then tomorrow I can tell you I love you."  
  
The confusion was finally cleared away.  
  
"Fine, just don't show it by jumping off the top of the diner." He said gruffly.  
  
"Hmmmmm."  
  
THE END.  
  
So, did it read too fast? Let me know. 


End file.
